Archeologists find new evidence linking Islamic conquest to You Tube videos

Muslim hordes enraged by a 15th century video insulting the Prophet Mohammed
conquer the Byzantine-Christian capital Constantinople.

(Dissociated Press)

Archeologists from Harvard have reported strong but unconfirmed evidence that much of Islamic conquest since the 7th century has been led by Muslims outraged by video portrayals of Islam and of the Prophet Mohammed.

"We've found some evidence for cartoons, but videos seem to be what really set them off" noted Harvard archeologist Harrison Ferd. "The Battle of Badr in 624 A.D. appears to have been incited by a Meccan internet video insulting Islam that Mohammed came across one night while surfing". 

Scholars have evidence that Mohammed's demand for the execution of the Jews of Banu Qaynuqa was incited by a video of a tasteless comedy routine by Sol Ben-Israel, a 7th century Jewish comedian, who predicted that someday a tiny Jewish state would surpass the entire Muslim world in scholarship, economic productivity, and respect for human rights. "The Prophet was furious at the Jew's insensitivity", notes Professor Ferd.

The Islamic conquests of Arabia, the Levant, Persia, Central Asia, and North Africa were apparently spurred by an amateur video that portrayed the Prophet in a respectful manner but with a lisp.

"The fury drove the nascent Islamists to conquer much of the known world in the 8th century." notes Ferd.

The Islamic invasion of Spain was incited by a Spanish video of the Prophet without a beard, according to scholars. The Battle of Vienna was motivated by a video that portrayed Mohammed's camel as being smaller than the camel of an infidel.

Not all Islamic conquests were inspired by videos, however. The Ottoman conquests of the 15th, 16th, and 17th centuries, including the conquest of Constantinople, may have been inspired by an insulting cartoon of Mohammed with glasses scrawled on a bathroom wall in Crete.

"After the 12th century, there were fewer video-jihads, and more cartoon-jihads. By the 15th century, Muslims had already been eclipsed in science and were having difficulty doing searches on You Tube" Ferd points out .

Historians have long suspected that the decay of science in the Muslim world was due to a 13th century Bill Nye video that was interpreted by many devout Muslims as insulting the Prophet.

In fact, Ferd and other scholars have linked nearly all of the countless episodes of Muslim piracy and mass murder in the last several centuries to insulting cartoons and videos.

Yet experts suggest that the Armenian Genocide was the exception to the video-cartoon tradition for Islamic violence. Scholars have tentatively linked the Ottoman pogrom that murdered a million Armenian Christians in the early 20th century to the impertinent book Mephistophelian Verses, written by an attention-seeking Armenian infidel. 

Professor Ferd sums it up:

"Muslims have been the victims of persistent caricature and ridicule by infidels for 1400 years. They have acted out their suffering in ways well-known to child psychologists-- tantrums, theft, pointless violence, wanton conquest, delusions of entitlement, infantile megalomania-- all of the classic symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, in which Muslims have been pioneers." 

You Tube has a lot to apologize for, notes Ferd, raising an eyebrow.