U.S. Government reports record October production of tractors



Olga Prole, a resident of Leningrad, Kansas, thanks President Obama for her new "Obama-tractor". "Now I don't have to pull the plow myself", said the 76 year-old widowed farmer, whose husband died of cancer after Bain Capital took over his struggling fertilizer business and cut his health insurance. "Now I've got an Obama-tractor! The President is like a father to us all!" beamed Ms. Prole.

(Dissociated Press) In a stunning follow-up to the Administration's announcement of the unprecedented pre-election October drop in the unemployment rate to 7.8%, Obama Administration officials today announced a record rise in tractor production, exceeding even the most optimistic 5-year plan estimates.

Labor Department Czar Josef Potemkin announced at a press conference that the astonishing drop in the unemployment rate-- just two days following the President's disastrous performance in the Denver presidential debate-- is accompanied by a sudden rise in tractor production in government-run tractor factories, which has exceeded 12 million tractors since the Democratic Convention in August.

"The President has been working night and day to make sure that America's undecided voters unemployed workers have enough tractors" Said Potemkin. "Unlike greedy capitalists who used to run private equity companies,  the President is a real comrade of the average American swing voter worker."

Unnamed Treasury officials have also reported that the Obama Administration will announce a doubling of the GDP in October, and a spontaneous elimination of the $16 trillion national debt by November 6th because Chinese officials have told the Administration privately that "they really don't want the loans paid back".