"My Sharia Amour"

Here's Mark Steyn's classic satire on an Islamic beauty contest, occasioned by the Miss World riots in Nigeria in 2002.

Excerpts:

I glanced at my watch. "For crying out loud, when are they going to raise the curtain?" 

"They have raised the curtain," said David. "Those are the girls." I peered closer at the shapeless line of cloth, and he was right: there they all were, from Miss Afghanistan to Miss Zionist Entity. 

I sighed. "How long till the swimsuit round?" 

"This is the swimsuit round," said David.

And this ditty:

I bounced out on stage, grabbed the mike and punched the air:

"My Sharia Amour, good enough for some emir
My Sharia Amour, I'm the guy you like to fear" 

The audience seemed wary and an alarming number appeared to be reaching into their robes. But I ploughed on: 

"My Sharia Amour, pretty little girl in your chador
One of only four that I beat sore
How I wish that I had five."

A classic.