Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Heh

From the Onion:
New, improved Obamacare program released on 35 floppy disks
Responding to widespread criticism regarding its health care website, the federal government today unveiled its new, improved Obamacare program, which allows Americans to purchase health insurance after installing a software bundle contained on 35 floppy disks. “I have heard the complaints about the existing website, and I can assure you that with this revised system, finding the right health care option for you and your family is as easy as loading 35 floppy disks sequentially into your disk drive and following the onscreen prompts,” President Obama told reporters this morning, explaining that the nearly three dozen 3.5-inch diskettes contain all the data needed for individuals to enroll in the Health Insurance Marketplace, while noting that the updated Obamacare software is mouse-compatible and requires a 386 Pentium processor with at least 8 MB of system RAM to function properly.

13 comments:

  1. Adm. G Boggs, Glenbeckistan NavyOctober 23, 2013 at 7:08 AM

    President Jeebus McLIghtworker must be temporarily distracted from his labors directed at causing the oceans to recede, because I saw him in an infomercial! Apparently, the press was watching, because here's a quote used at TechCrunch:

    No one who decides to purchase a plan has to pay their first premium until December 15. And, unlike the day-after-Thanksgiving sales for the latest PlayStation or flatscreen TVs, the insurance plans don’t run out, they’re not going to sell out.
    --- J. McLightworker

    The man has class.

    In fact, TechCrunch even has a little online quiz to find out whether you, the reader, can tell the difference between Jeebus McLightworker and the legendary Billy Mays, infomercial celebrity.

    I'm reminded of a discussion here a few days ago about who "won" the Government Shutdown Follies. And I recall the word schadenfreude being used.

    Well, time marches on, and I suspect Jeebus and his Dancin' HHS Apostles might be wishing they had delayed this pig - oops! I meant gig - until next year. As embarrassments go, this one is world class, right up there with Miley Cyrus (except without the talent). Forget "Wrecking Ball"; the new tune on everybody's lips is "Screwed the Pooch".

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    1. Adm. G Boggs, Glenbeckistan NavyOctober 23, 2013 at 7:30 AM

      Here's a little tidbit that may interest some readers:

      CGI, the Canadian company whose U.S. subsidiary built the failed Obamacare website, was once contracted to build a federal gun registry for the Canadian government, Breitbart News has learned.

      CGI's contract was canceled in 2007 after a report by the Auditor General found that the Canadian Firearms Information System (CFIS) being built by CGI was "significantly over budget" and that it had been plagued by delays.

      --- Brietbart.com

      At least the J McLightworker Administration picked a company experienced in dealing with failure.

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    2. Adm.

      It should be noted that that federal registry was scrapped as an ineffective, expensive intrusion into the personal rights and freedoms of law abiding Canadians. The only province to salvage any of that draconian bill was Quebec (shocker, I know).
      So with a bit of luck the geniuses at CGI will have passed that curse along to Obamacare.

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  2. I’m not surprised. The federal government has always had problems with IT. Unfortunately, half of our elected representatives are fuelled by a desire to destroy government, and will always choose to make government worse in lieu of fixing it.

    -KW

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    1. Adm. G Boggs, Glenbeckistan NavyOctober 23, 2013 at 7:35 AM

      I blame Bush.

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    2. A vast right wing conspiracy.

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    3. A conspiracy born of idiocy perhaps. There are ~10 Tea Party Republicans who were videoed during the 2010 campaign promising to shut down the government. Not for any particular reason mind you, just general loathing of a democracy they can’t control.

      -KW

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    4. Adm. G Boggs, Glenbeckistan NavyOctober 23, 2013 at 11:23 AM

      KW's report that 10 Tea Partiers brought down the mighty edifice of healthcare.gov reinforces the old saying:

      If structural engineers built buildings like software engineers write software, the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.

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  3. I think this James Maxie guy might comment on this board using the screen name "KW."

    http://www.whiotv.com/news/news/national/pastor-attacked-church-police-say/nbTxq/

    Basically, a proud, militant atheist went to church just to heckle the pastor and make references to Hitler and Christianity. The pastor later asked his girlfriend if she felt safe around him and he proceeded to beat the crap out of the pastor. Oh yes, and he's a registered sex offender.

    I thought atheists were reasonable and affable and Christians were prone to violence.

    TRISH

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    1. Cool story, Trish.

      I thought atheists were reasonable and affable and Christians were prone to violence.

      Your anecdote delivered the coup de grace to that idea. Keep up the good work and you'll get a special place in heaven very close to Jeebus, within touching distance to His Majestic Penis.

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    2. You sure have a dirty mouth. I hate to think where it's been.

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    3. I sometimes think Troy uses a different orifice in the compilation of his comments. After all, gravity is the force he credits with creation.

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    4. Poor Trish, I forgive you. I know it's hard losing the culture war and watching the party that represents your interests disintegrate. Hang in there, it will be OK.

      -KW

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