Thursday, February 13, 2014

Let's ban plutonium gas-injected 0.937 caliber assault carbines with technetium razor-tipped bullets

Frank J. Fleming has a great idea for gun control:

What we can do is pass a law banning a bunch of made-up things that sound scary, and many gun control proponents already have great ideas along this line. For instance, I read a column in which Howard Kurtz mentioned a ban on high-magazine clips — we can certainly do without something that nonsensical. And I’ve heard the press before mention armor-piercing hollow points and plastic guns (actually, I think we already banned that made-up weapon in the ’80s). And as long as the NRA and Wayne LaPierre go apoplectic about it (“This ban on sorcerer-enchanted guns is just a slippery slope toward eliminating all witch-hexed weaponry!”), gun control proponents won’t know the difference between this and actual gun control. And this will help protect our most vulnerable people out there: politicians. Because long after the gun control advocates move on to other things, like who they want to tax next, gun owners will still be annoyed by any actual gun control legislation. One of the greatest fears politicians have is seeing an angry guy with lots of guns charging down the street, because they know he’s probably on his way to commit an act of voting. 
Of course, with this idea, absolutely nothing will be done to keep criminals and madmen from obtaining guns, but that’s the effect of every other gun control law, so we’re just reaching this end in a much cheaper and less messy fashion. Because what are the options if we actually want to do something to make people safer? Let law abiding citizens like teachers carry in schools? That’s just insane. Solving the problem of guns with more guns is just another crazy idea by those people who take that “liberty” idea to dangerous extremes and cause all the other civilized countries to make fun of us. Instead, let’s get to work banning those unicorn horn-tipped bullets and feeling safer.

Let's just ban scary-sounding stuff. Who needs plutonium gas-injected assault carbines anyway? If we ban them, it'll be every bit as effective as the ban on handguns in Chicago and the ban on assault rifles in Connecticut.


  1. Adm. G Boggs, Glenbeckistan NavyFebruary 13, 2014 at 8:25 AM

    You're absolutely right, Egnor. We need to git rid a them things. Why, a civilian gun ban is the reason that our neighbor to the south, Mexico, has such a low murder rate. And it's also the reason Chicago has a miniscule murder rate.

    Fun fact: the rate of concealed carry permit applications in Illinois exceeded the rate of Obamacare signups. Woo hoo! Gotta love the clown car that calls itself the Jeebus McLightworker Administration.

    And how's that hi-cap magazine ban workin' out? Speaking of magazines and irony,

    "Parents" magazine and "American Rifleman", the NRA's monthly magazine, managed to break into the top 25 [magazines in circulation] since the AAM's last ranking.
    --- Puffington Host 7/7/14

    1. Adm. G Boggs, Glenbeckistan NavyFebruary 13, 2014 at 8:40 AM

      N.B.: For perspective on those circulation numbers, PuffHo got it slightly wrong. American Rifleman isn't "the" monthly magazine of the NRA. It is "a" monthly magazine. The NRA also publishes Shooting Illustrated, American Hunter, and America's 1st Freedom.

      For those interested in instances of gun use for defensive purposes, bookmark the NRA's Armed Citizen page and get the latest stories the Toady Press ignores.

  2. Adm. G Boggs, Glenbeckistan NavyFebruary 13, 2014 at 9:30 AM

    OT: Research followup...

    A couple of eminent scientists who visit here suggested a survey the other day, intended to examine whether IRS audits of conservatives exceed what might be expected by chance, given Egnor's post about "coincidence theory"...

    Dr Toots: "there is simple statistics that one can apply to rule out the null hypothesis of pure coincidence"

    Indeed there are, Dr Toots.

    However, Dr Toots suggested someone else run the study. It turns out they did!

    Here are some data:

    “We now know that the IRS targeted not only right-leaning applicants, but also right-leaning groups that were already operating as 501(c)(4)s,” Mr. Camp said in a statement. “At Washington, DC’s direction, dozens of groups operating as 501(c)(4)s were flagged for IRS surveillance, including monitoring of the groups’ activities, websites and any other publicly available information. Of these groups, 83% were right-leaning. And of the groups the IRS selected for audit, 100% were right-leaning.”
    --- WSJ (2/13/14)

    Now the Toots and Troi Excellent Survey Shack can do the cackalations!

    I look forward to the report.