Friday, March 28, 2014

Schools reject "abstinence-only" approach to school shootings

"Teaching shooting abstinence doesn't work".
Planned Fratricide map showing the failure of an "abstinence only" approach to school shootings

(Dissociated Press) In a nationwide trend, schools are rejecting the "abstinence-only" approach to preventing school shootings. Many schools across the country are instituting Safe School Shooting programs to educate teens on safer school shooting practices.

"The evidence clearly shows that the 'abstinence-only" approach to school shootings, like the "abstinence-only" approach to sex education, has failed" said Sam Columbine, public relations director of Planned Fratricide, the organization devoted to promoting the safe shooting lifestyle. "We must recognize that our kids are going to shoot each other, whether we want them to or not. Adolescents are driven by hormones, and there's not much we can do to stop them. We need to be realistic, and not tied to outdated religious dogma."

Columbine raised an eyebrow. "Religious instruction is a violation of the Establishment Clause. You can't enforce chastity-- The Seventh Commandment-- in our schools. You can't enforce the The Sixth Commandment-- thou shalt not kill-- in our schools, either."

Planned Fratricide has introduced several instructional modules in school districts across the country, including a short text titled "Shoot for the Legs" that provides safety tips for safer mass shootings, and a video titled "Why Reload?", which educators have praised for advocating moderation and responsible shooting practices. In Planned Fratricide classes, students practice putting ten-round magazines on AR15's, instead of the lethal thirty-round assault weapon magazines.

"Shooting classmates is a natural expression of adolescent non-conformity" said Columbine, showing a glint of exasperation. "You can't stop kids from doing what comes naturally. The best we can do is to train them to shoot each other more safely."

"Abstinence-only" programs always fail, Columbine noted. "Human beings are animals, really, and the best we can do is herd them into safer behaviors. We can't expect true shooting chastity. Safe school shooting, not abstinence, should be our goal."

Planned Fratricide has distributed posters promoting Safe School Shooting for display in schools, including "Do You Really Need Hollow Points?" and "You Shot Them Once. Why Shoot Them Again?"


  1. Commissar Boggs, Ministry of TruthMarch 28, 2014 at 6:50 AM

    And to all those hating haters who hate out there, keep your laws off our magazines!

    I hear Planned Fratricide is publishing a children's book entitled Heather Has Two AK-47s.

  2. Just when I was thinking - just for a fraction of a second - that Egnor isn't batshit crazy, he comes up with a thread such as this.

    It's not funny and it's also not in good taste. I can't see what point he's trying to make in his twisted warped mind. Is he having a go at sex education or gun control?

    1. Commissar Boggs, Ministry of TruthMarch 28, 2014 at 7:39 AM

      Treasure that fraction of a second you were thinking, backfire. It may be the last one you ever experience. From now on, it could be invisible gorillas all the way down.

    2. Senile old fart,

      I've never thought that you're not completely batshit crazy, particularly with your changing delusional self awarded titles.

      Perhaps you can find a YouTube video explaining how meschugge you are?

    3. Commissar Boggs, Ministry of TruthMarch 28, 2014 at 9:34 AM

      blankfield: "I've never thought [full stop]"

      We know.

    4. Senile old fart,

      We know that you're a dishonest quote miner.

  3. Commissar Boggs, Ministry of TruthMarch 28, 2014 at 8:10 AM

    Daily Truth---

    Democrats. Gotta love 'em...

    In February 2013, California State Sen. Leland Yee was pushing tighter restrictions on Golden State gun owners and months later he was quietly negotiating an illegal gun trafficking scheme in exchange for campaign contributions to help finance his upcoming run for Secretary of State, according to allegations in a federal complaint released yesterday following Yee’s arrest in a massive operation involving raids at several locations in the San Francisco area.
    --- Examiner

    Good grief. Sounds like Eric Holder. Proglodyte politicians to peasants: "Guns for me, but not for thee..."

  4. So schools are hypocrites because they’re not against kids having sex but are against children shooting each other? These dissociated press pieces are an incredible example of the totally avoidable dementia that fervent religious belief can cause.


    1. KW,

      In Egnor's case, I suspect the dementia came first, and the fervent religious belief came second.

      Surgeons are well known not to be necessarily particularly intelligent. Unlike physicians. They're good with their hands, but not with their intellects.

    2. Commissar Boggs, Ministry of TruthMarch 28, 2014 at 9:36 AM

      bitchfest: "Surgeons are well known [blah]"

      Bitchfest, you sound like a pencilneck who didn't make the varsity. No wonder you got stuck in the basement with the grotty bits.

    3. Senile old fart,

      I was paraphrasing a physician tutor I had in medical school at university who noted that surgeons were manually adept but generally not good thinkers.

      Egnor is the example who proves his point.

  5. Huuum.

    No mention of Sandy Hook.


  6. Egnor is really losing it. The signs were there already, of course. Buying into the Christian fairy tales was a big give-away. Then Holocaust denial. Now this - making fun of school shootings. I wonder what's next.

    1. Troy,

      Funny how the only person to 'support' Egnor's thread so far is Senile Old Fart.

    2. Senile Old Fart has been losing it badly, too, lately. Copying and pasting off-topic headlines, off-topic rants about Obama and Kerry, and much more insane rubbish. He's a sad lonely man near the end of his life who can't handle the fact that he doesn't have a legacy. So he converted to the Christian delusion that life doesn't end at death, like his buddy Egnor did. Marrying late in life to a Catholic woman might have played a role too. Just like Egnor, he hates his former self and keeps beating the corpse of his former self. It's fascinating in a morbid kind of way.

  7. I didn't find the story especially funny or tasteful, but the point of the joke is clear. The idea that "kids are going to do it sometimes away, so lets teach them how to do it so as to reduce the risk to themselves and others" is ridiculous when applied to school shootings; it's also ridiculous when applied to premarital sex.


    1. JH,

      Well, why didn't Egnor use the obvious example of the 'just say no' campaign against illicit drugs? He could have used a similar 'harm reduction' strategy as with premarital sex. Use clean syringes, etc.

      Except the 'just say no' campaign against drugs apparently didn't work.

    2. Neither, apparently, has our "Just say no" approach to shooting one's classmates.