Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Evolutionary biologists: Muhammed did not evolve from a monkey




(Dissociated Press) In response to growing unrest and violence in the Muslim world over Western statements that offend the Prophet Muhammed, the Association for Hominid Ontogenesis Laws by Evolutionary Scientists (AssHOLES) have announced groundbreaking research that proves that the Prophet Muhammed, unlike all other humans, was not descended from a monkey.

"Our research shows that the Prophet was created directly by Allah, Peace Be Upon Him, and not descended from monkeys, like Jews and infidels" said Professor Arnold Dhimmi, director of Human Evolutionary Biology at Harvard.
Dr. Dhimmi spoke from behind bullet-proof glass that was installed in his office following threats from Muslims around the world against those who would insult the Prophet.

"We have also discovered, using molecular DNA reductase microchromoholoscintillography, that the Prophet has no biological relation whatsoever to pigs. Furthermore, recent research has failed to show the existence of even a single molecule of biological alcohols in Mohammed's bloodline. It's amazing, Peace Be Upon Him." 
Dr. Dhimmi also commented on the fact that many observers have noted a reluctance of some atheists and Darwinists like Richard Dawkins to criticize Islam with the kind of ruthless vehemence that they reserve for Christianity.

"From eugenics to Haeckel's Embryos to Piltdown Man to the T4 program in Germany to Kettlewell's Moths to Archaeoraptor, we evolutionary biologists have always stood for truth and courage." Dr. Dhimmi said.

"Just like the Prophet" he smiled, adjusting the "Evolution-- except Muhammed" button on his bullet-proof vest.

3 comments:

  1. Hey, this is fun!

    Creationist Union of Neurosurgeon Troglodytes (CUNT).

    Next one

    ReplyDelete
  2. THE PERFECT EXAMPLE FOR MANKIND

    “PARAGON OF MORAL PERFECTION”

    THE PERFECT MUSLIM

    And surely thou hast sublime morals
    (Surat Al-Qalam 68:4).

    Ye have indeed in the Messenger of Allah an excellent exemplar
    (Surat Al-Ahzab 33:21).

    "Say (O Muhammad to mankind): ‘If you (really) love Allah then follow me (i.e. accept Islamic Monotheism, follow Quran and the Sunnah), Allah will love you and forgive you your sins. And Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.’ Say (O Muhammad): ‘Obey Allah and the Messenger (Muhammad).’ But if they turn away, then Allah does not like the disbelievers."
    (Quran: 3:31)

    "And whatever the Messenger gives you, take it, and whatever he forbids you, leave it. And fear Allah: truly Allah is severe in punishment.
    (Quran 59:7)

    Muslims believe that the Koran is the eternal word/laws of god to acts as a divine guidance for mankind about how to live a moral, righteous life. Prophet Muhammad, the highest perfection of human life and the prototype of the most wonderful human conduct in Islamic belief, emulated the guidance of Allah perfectly.

    MOHAMMED GAVE BLOWJOBS TO HIS GRANDSON:
    SURA 52:24
    “And there shall wait on them [the Muslim men] young boys of their own, as fair as virgin pearls.”
    Hadith Number 16245, Volume Title: “The Sayings of the Syrians,” Chapter
    Title: “Hadith of Mu’awiya Ibn Abu Sufyan”: “I saw the prophet – pbuh –
    sucking on the tongue or the lips of Al-Hassan son of Ali, may the
    prayers of Allah be upon him. For no tongue or lips that the prophet
    sucked on will be tormented (by hell fire)
    He (the Prophet) lift up his (al Hasan’s) shirt & kissed his (little) penis..”
    روى أنه صلى الله عليه و سلم قبل زبيبة الحسن أو الحسين
    He (the prophet) kissed the (little) penis of al Hasan or al Husein
    رأيت النبي صلى الله عليه و سلم فرج ما بين فخذي الحسين و قبل زبيبته
    He (the prophet) put Husein’s legs apart & kissed his (little) penis
    Another Hadith. Majma al-Zawa’id, Ali ibn Abu Bakr al-Haythami, 299/9 مجمع الزوائد لعلي بن أبى بكر الهيثمي
    رأيت رسول الله صلى الله عليه و سلم فرج ما بين فخذي الحسين و قبل زبيبته
    رواه الطبراني و إسناده حسن
    translated in English: “I saw the Messenger of Allah pbuh putting Husein’s legs apart & kissing his (little) penis.”
    Related by Al-Tabarani & it’s authentication is good.
    Face it your prophet who you consider perfect had sex with young boys including his grandson & had a 6 year old wife; raped and murdered, among other things.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You might want to visit this page :)
      http://calltotruth.weebly.com/misconceptions/rebuttal-to-muslim-issue-website-on-penis-kissing-hadith

      May Allah lead you to the right path

      Delete