Sunday, October 9, 2011

The obligatory neutrino joke...

Making the rounds on the internet:

Bartender: "Sorry pal, we don't allow faster-than-light neutrinos in this bar."


A neutrino walks into a bar...


  1. Michael,

    Sigh, not funny. How can a FTL neutrino walk into a bar?

    Talking about bar jokes:

    Two Irishmen walk out of a bar.

    Another one:

    Rene Descartes walks into a bar, and the bartender asks 'Do you want a beer?' and Rene answers 'I don't think ...' and, poof, he disappears.

    A joke that was on 'the Skeptics' Guide to the Galaxy' (I assume you listen to it every week?):

    If you know who Werner Heisenberg is, then you don't know where he is.

  2. @ mike,
    How about:
    Why did the neutrino cross the road at FTL speeds?
    To get from the end of time.


    What the F...
    Who's there?!
    *Knock Knock*
    What the ....

    @Bach. Good question! How do particles combine to allow them to walk into bars. NS?

  3. CrusadeRex,

    If a neutrino was traveling faster than light, then it wouldn't be in the bar long enough for the bartender to notice it let alone ask the question.

    Actually, I think that the Heisenberg uncertainty principle would prevent neutrinos from combining because if they did, then the uncertainty in position would disappear, which isn't allowed.

    Natural selection has nothing to do with pure physics. What makes you think it does?

    Anyway, the FTL neutrino result is probably wrong. The distance has to be just 25 cm shorter than measured and the measured speed is less than light speed.

  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

  5. A neutrino zips into a bar and finds it filled with electrons.

    "Gosh! The atmosphere is really charged here!" says he.

  6. Golly, why do these puerile neutrino jokes exist? Neutrinos don't have a purpose, they don't have a mind. They're only nature's method of balancing the energy account balance in certain nuclear reactions.

    They don't make any any sense, unlike the joke

    'Two goldfish are in a tank. One turns to the other, and asks "Do you know how to drive this thing?"'

    Now that's funny, because one can imagine (form a mental image without sense perception) that a goldfish has a mind. You can't imagine a neutrino has a mind.

  7. @Pepe:

    "A neutrino zips into a bar and finds it filled with electrons.

    "Gosh! The atmosphere is really charged here!" says he."

    Or "Cheer up! Why is everybody so negative?"

  8. Michael,

    Now that's funny. But you should have written it BEFORE Pepe gave his version ...

  9. @bach...
    You can't imagine a neutrino has a mind.

    Yes you can!

  10. "Now that's funny, because.."
    Joke instantly ruined. Lighten up, man.