[Dissociated press] The New York State legislature passed a bill Friday night legalizing gay marriage in the state. The landmark bill provides full legal recognition to unions between individuals of the same sex, equivalent to marriage of opposite-sex couples.
"Marriage is for all who love, regardless of stereotypes" proclaimed gay rights activists.
A group of Marriage Without Borders (MWB) activists joined the celebration. The president of MWB, funeral director Mort Love, said that the erosion of the traditional definition of marriage offered hope to many victims of stereotypes. "For centuries, necrophilia has been stigmatized. Why must both marriage partners be alive? Our society is awash in vivism and necrophobia. We are hopeful that we can overcome necrophobia and extend marriage rights to those who have always loved in silence."
Attending the rally as well were representatives of Give Onanists a Fair Shake (GOFS), an organization that has advocated same-same marriage since the 1960's. "We're the loneliest victims of 'homo'phobia", asserted one protestor.
Also attending the rally were a large group of activists from Utah, who denounced polyphobia. They had a variety of signs: "In the Mood for a Brood?", "Why Just Two in the Pew?" and "Nine is Fine".
The most famous activist at the Marriage Without Borders rally was internationally renowned philosopher and ethicist Peter Singer from Princeton University. Singer is author of the article Heavy Petting in which the world's leading ethicist defends some kinds of bestiality. Singer has argued that zoosexual relations are not necessarily abusive, and that cross-species relationships could form which were mutually enjoyed. Singer was accompanied by his nervous-appearing Yorkie Terrier named "Doggiestile"
"We need to expand our concept of love and drive away stereotypes", said Singer, smiling at his pet. "'Natural' relations doesn't necessarily mean same-species relations". "Speciesism is the most fundamental prejudice", Singer said, to the cheers of the MWB crowd.
Reporters asked Singer whether his anxious 8-pound pet was a male or a female.
"A female, of course", the famed ethicist insisted.
Asked about whether he supported marriage between pet owners and their same-sex pet, Singer seemed shocked.
"Not really. Marriage has to mean something. Zoophilia is beautiful, but same-sex zoophilia? That creeps me out, to be honest."