Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Adult Baby Syndrome spreading

Epidemiologists Warn of Spread of Adult Infancy

(Dissociated Press) Public health officials are closely monitoring the spread of Adult Baby Syndrome (ABS), a bizarre character illness in which adults regress to infantile methods of dealing with conflict. "ABS seems to be spreading", noted Center for Disease Control associate director Dr. Marvin Pamper, who has followed the evolution of the tragic disease for years. "It represents a major threat to the health of the victim and to the health of the community" Pamper said.
In related news, officials are monitoring a local outbreak of ABS in Cranston, Rhode Island, were a tragic new case has been reported.
In this frightening outbreak, a young adult reportedly was startled by a mundane 50 year old prayer on a wall in a school. "Her infantile mind was shattered", reports Dr. Pamper. "She saw the prayer, and in a moment her cooing turned to tears and wailing. One day, she was playing with her Richard Dawkins Doll, and the next, she was using her Barbie Cellphone to call police. Her childhood was shattered.
Emergency services officials initially had difficulty understanding her on the telephone. "She kept wimpering 'Me sawed pwayr Me sawed pwayr...'. Officials called atheist interpreters from the ACLU, who immediately recognized this as a clear example of prayer-child-abuse. "We asked her for her name, and all she could say was '... sue... sue... sue...' so we tried to find all of the emotionally unstable atheists named Susan in the neighborhood of the call" police said. "Finally we found the victim babbling, sobbing inconsolably."
 Health Department officials have tried to help the witless victim, even offering adult-sized diapers, which are often sought by sufferers of ABS.
ACLU officials have blocked delivery of diapers for the emotionally unstable plantiff, pointing out that it interfers with the ongoing litigation.
"Diapers would interfere with our client's intent to disseminate atheist First Amendment jurisprudence" noted Lawrenty Beria, the ACLU's director of Religious Supression. "We will not accept pre-trial restraint".
The frightened victim and her ACLU handlers representatives have expressed concern that even a victory in the litigation against free expression of religion will prove traumatic to the fragile plantiff.
"We obviously expect a lot of money a settlement to compensate our client for her pain and suffering and to cover our legal expenses" noted ACLU attorney William Shakedown. "It costs money to censor prayer. We incur expenses."

The tragedy is that even when she gets her money from the working people of Cranston, she may... may... not even be able to look at it.

ACLU attorney Shakedown noted that the cash that the victim and her attorneys expect to win compensate her for her suffering contains the verboten expression "In God We Trust".

"We may have to ask for direct deposit, which is guaranteed by the First Amendment", Shakedown noted.


  1. Michael,

    Sigh ... Yet another thread on the same tedious topic. Why don't you wait until the Federal Court hands down its decision. There are two possibilities. The court will agree with you with your interpretation of the constitution or it won't.

    The post isn't particularly funny either. I assume that you wrote it yourself.

    I find jokes attacking people's mental capacity to be most unfunny.

    Which reminds me of a very funny joke.

    An elderly couple went to a friend's house for dinner. At the end of the dinner, while the wives were in the kitchen, the male guest was extolling a restaurant they'd visited for dinner the previous evening. When asked for the name of the restaurant, he scratched his head and finally said 'Whats the name of the red flower with thorns?'. 'Do you mean a rose?'. 'Yes of course rose...'. raising his voice 'Hey, Rose, what was the name of the restaurant we went to last night?'

  2. @bach:

    Very funny. But you shouldn't make fun of forgetfulness...

  3. My morning dose of Christianity is a grown man mocking and belittling a 15 or 16 year old girl. Aren’t Christians wonderful?


  4. @KW: It isn't the childish Egnor making fun of a teenager. It is the childish Egnor talking about himself.

  5. It is really quite amusing. Not the childish Egnor's attempts to make fun of a teenager. The fact that the childish Egnor seems to think it makes him look like anything other than a six-year old to do it.

    And it further highlights just how pathetic the childish Egnor's arguments are. He has completely struck out on his attempts to make actual legal arguments, and his attempted historical arguments have been shown to be based on specious thinking, so all he has left is to froth at the mouth and scream.

    When you have the facts, argue the facts. The childish Egnor doesn't have the facts, so he can't do that.

    When you have the law, argue the law. The childish Egnor doesn't have the law, so you can't do that.

    When you have neither the law or the facts, pound the table. The childish Egnor tried this, and it hasn't convinced anyone.

    So he added: when pounding the table doesn't work, shriek and scream and call your opponents Nazis and infants. The childish Egnor seems to think that actual adults will find this convincing.

    All it really does is highlight just how badly the childish Egnor's ideology is losing. And that it has no cogent arguments or valid points to make. The childish Egnor may as well paint "I, Egnor, and a small child who throws temper tantrums" on his forehead so all the actual adults he comes into contact with will be warned.

  6. A very humorous, yet highly effective point of view perspective Dr. Egnor. To my mind, the real tragedy is that your "extreme" parody of the events in question is probably closer to the truth than we realize. Pity the reaction of many of your ubiquitous critics is restricted to self righteous indignation.

    And speaking of your critics......in particular, the ones who never cease attacking your character and competence, would they not be more intellectually and emotionally fulfilled being part of Jerry Coyne's fanboy network or P Z Myers sycophant collective?

  7. So many Anonymous so little time!

    How to write Anonymous in the plural:

    Anonymouses, Anonymice or Anonymoose?


  8. It's ridiculous and really sad that this guy has nothing better to do in his life than to make fun of a teenaged girl. Like really, who cares that she's suing the school? I actually GO to West and I know that she has tried on several different occasions to try and get the banner taken down but every time the school has either ignored her or they just refuse to take it down. Instead of peeling it off of the wall in the auditorium and instead having a small plaque commemorating it, they have refused and they have an entire committee about it. And PS the girl who is suing the school just wants everything to end. All she wanted was for them to acknowledge that they're shouldn't be something with a religious tie up on the wall of a PUBLIC school, and for them to take it down.

  9. @Me:

    I'm making fun of a lying litigant in a fraudulent federal lawsuit serving as a front for anti-Christian bigots. She happens to be a teen.

    If she wants it to end, she can end it.

    Then she should be prosecuted in federal court for perjury/filing a false claim. She obviously suffered no harm from the prayer, and her statement that she did so is a criminal act because it was presented to a court.

    I'm also making fun of the ACLU, who aren't teens.

    And I'm making fun of you, and all atheist a**holes who swoon at prayer.

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