Scientists: "If you don't take our advice on global warming, it'll kill even more people than the last time you took our advice."

 

(Dissociated Press) Scientists today in Copenhagen issued a grave warning to the public: if we don't act to stop global warming, it will kill even more people than have been killed by the other apocalyptic scientific hoaxes of the last half-century. 

Speaking at the run..Run...RUN!!! 2012 Consensus Conference on Global Warming in the beautiful Danish capital, Dr. Wilhelm Hoaxe, director of the Carson Institute for Toxicological Hyperbole in Brussels, warned sternly:

"We are facing a climate apocalypse of unprecedented proportions. Estimates of the dead over the next decade are difficult, because our computer models keep breaking down emotionally. We think the the global warming deaths may approach 60 million people, mostly poor women and children, equal in number to the people who were killed by malaria because of our hysterical war on DDT. It could be that bad."

Dr. Florence Nutter, director of the Population Control for People We Don't Want Too Many Of Institute in Berlin, disagreed with Hoaxe. She believes that global warming will be an even more terrifying catastrophe.

"My calculation is that global warming will kill even more people than we population control hysterics have killed in China, which is at least a couple hundred million aborted and abandoned babies, mostly girls." Contemplating the enormity of the risk we face from climate instability, Nutter noted  "The fact that we've already killed countless millions of innocents with our junk science helps to bring home the enormity of the risk we face from the overheating earth."

The only bright side to the looming climate catastrophe, Dr. Nutter noted, is that global warming won't sterilize millions of people against their will, as the population control and eugenic gendarmes did in the past century and continue to do in China.

 Dr. Philip Deja-vu, scientific director of the Conference, drew a parallel.

"If you think that the millions of deaths from unstable scientists was bad, imagine the carnage we face from an unstable climate."