(Dissociated Press) T.V. football viewers were shocked Sunday night when sportscaster Bob Costas unexpectedly made a 90 second statement endorsing gun control in the wake of the murder-suicide committed by Kansas City Chiefs player Jovan Belcher.
Experts attributed the highly controversial jeremiad to the easy availability of microphones.
Microphone-control advocate Gerry Kerzowicz explains:
"It's a scandal that in our nation any blow-dried-botoxed-jock-wanna-be sportscaster can get get a hold of a microphone and subject millions of innocent victims to tedious illogical arguments. The First Amendment isn't a murder-suicide pact. How many tragedies like this do we need until we get serious about microphone control. Only responsible people should have microphones. "
In related news, weight loss advocates attribute the the obesity epidemic in America to the widespread availability of unlicensed refrigerators...