Saturday, July 14, 2012

Scientists demonstrate the non-existence of the Roberts' Taxon

Iowahawk has a post on this breaking scientific discovery:


DNC Scientists Disprove Existence of Roberts' Taxon
WASHINGTON DC - Jubilant scientists at the DNC's High Speed Word Collider (HSWC) announced today they have conclusively disproven the existence of Roberts' Taxon, the theoretical radioactive Facton particle that some had worried would lead to the implosion of the entire Universal Health Care System.
"I think it's time to pop the champagne corks," said HSWC Director David Plouffe. "Then blaze some choom."
The landmark experiment in Quantum Rhetoric began early this week after legal particle cosmologist John Roberts published a paper in the Quarterly Journal of Tortured Logic that solved the long-debated Pelosi's Paradox in Universal Health Care Theory.
"Pelosi's Paradox states that in order to find out what is in a health care bill, it would have to be passed," explained physicist Steven Hawking. "But in order to be a law it would have to be constitutional, which means someone would have to know what was in it, which would mean it couldn't have been a bill in the first place. Think of Schroedinger's Cat, except with a lobotomy."
To solve the paradox, Roberts proposed the existence of the Taxon - an ephemeral, mysterious facton particle that in theory would allow the Universal Health System to be constitutional, without directly observing what was in it...

Hilarious. Read the whole thing.


  1. Low on comedy but high on hateful, it's no wonder you like it.


    1. So maybe it's a hate-crime!

      Why don't you go to federal court to get it censored? Oh, that's right, it's not a prayer...

    2. The distain you generate for yourself is recompense enough.


    3. Its kind of funny to see Egnor post about the law. He's consistently completely wrong, every time.

      He's like that with science too. So at least he's got that going for him.

  2. Yeah! Take that, DC's attempt to do something!

  3. Howlingly funny. KW has no sense of humor.